18
‘:p :p :p’- I saw
on my mobile screen as I opened the message from pipasa.
I was amazed or
rather shocked. I was wondering what to reply. I decided to go with 6 similar
smileys.
‘:p :p :p :p :p
:p’
She was expecting
something else from me.
‘what???’- she
sent.
‘what what??????’-
I replied.
‘don’t you want
to talk?’
How could she
reach to such a conclusion. I couldn’t decide what to reply now. The same sentence twice!!! The idea
seemed stupid. I opened the window of my room to get some fresh air in. It was
raining. Slowly. With an ambiguous mind, I couldn’t enjoy the subtleties of the
drizzle outside. I got back to my bed and typed.
‘oh….yes….obviously
I do……well, I m very poor in starting conversations……in fact I m not getting a
topic to talk about’
I stretched
sleepily in my bed, arching my back and waited for her reply.
‘topic????? Hw
abt love???’
‘oh love……interesting
topic’- an excited ‘i’ replied.
This was the topic I wanted, that I had waited for days.
‘have u evr been
in love?’- I sent again before she could reply to my last message.
‘every1 falls in
love’- came her reply.
I was apprehensive.
Does this mean ‘yes’ ? Was it me with
whom she was in love? Was it someone back from her school and intermediate
days? Or was it someone else from our college itself?
I tried to erase
all these questions from my mind, and couldn’t erase any. The questions were
trying to break free of some invisible manacles in my mind. These questions
were searching for answers.
‘and who z dat
luckiest guy???’- I decided to go with this universally accepted sentence to
form that question.
‘that I’ll tell u
later. And u ???’- she preferred not to answer my question and to keep me
confused.
I didn’t know
what to say. Again. And I don’t know why I
was so helpless in answering her questions.
‘and I . . . ‘- I
replied with 3 dots reciprocating her 3 question marks.
‘you r trying to
be diplomatic’- she sent.
‘diplomatic ’ was
not the right adjective for what I was doing, I thougt. But then I was not
interested to correct her or rather to search the right word to describe my
action.
‘and I don’t know’-
I replied, replacing the dots with words.
‘I m nt a fool 2
believe ur 'I dnt knw'. Hw can sum1 be so ignorant abt his love!!!’
‘oh…no…. I m nt
ignorant…. I m bloody confused.’
And she was the
one who had kept me confused. Time and again.
I waited for a
few minutes and she didn’t reply. I went out of my room leaving the mobile
there on my bed. I looked down from the balcony. I looked up into the dark
clouds. I didn’t want to dwell in confusion.
But the truth was
still the truth. While pipasa had never given me clear indication about our
relationship., barsha had come into my life as an intruder. It was not my
mistake that I was confused. Situation had made me so.
I saw the picture
of pipasa and barsha passing before my eyes and being flushed by the rain, for
ever. But both of them survived in my heart, or that is what I felt.............
