19
‘where
were you yesterday,swayamsu?’, pipasa demanded,’I
called and texted you so many times.
You didn’t call back neither did you care
to drop a message’.
She narrowed her
eyes and looked at me. Rahul, lalu , saina and pipasa herself were waiting for
my reply.
That is the kind
of worry and concern I wanted to see in pipasa. I suppressed my thrill and gave
her some vague answer.
‘shut up. I’m in
no mood to listen to your craps’- she groaned.
‘neither are we’-
said rahul with a filthy smile on his face.
‘tell us what is
it’- saina said with irritation.
‘what is what’- I
was least bothered.
‘what is it that
you were doing yesterday and not teling us now’
I was undeterred
by her reaction. The sheer pleasure that one gets by keeping so many people at
the edge of suspense is something difficult to describe. And I was enjoying
that pleasure.
‘you are an
idiot’- said pipasa. Anger was clearly visible on her face and in her words.
‘how can you say
so?’- I asked.
‘don’t you know
that you are an idiot?’
‘yes, I know. But
how can you say such things about me?’
Rahul and lalu
laughed out while saina successfully suppressed it. Pipasa picked her stuff and
walked stiffly out of that place. Saina decided to follow her.
‘so what is it
you asshole?’-rahul asked as soon as they left.
‘and this time
better you don’t reply with a ‘what is what’’- lalu joined.
‘no secrets,yaar.
I just wanted to see how much she cares for me. the concern on her face told it
all’
‘on whose face
and what did it tell ’- umesh asked as deb and umesh came into that room and
joined us.
All three of us looked
at each other and preferred to remain silent.
‘come on,the
whole college knows it’- umesh said.
‘knows what’-
lalu inquired.
‘about swayamsu
and pipasa’
I could see the
discomfort on deb’s face. May be everyone else also noticed that.
‘and what do they
know about us?’-I entered into the conversation.
‘that you love
her and trying hard to impress her’- deb said evincing his discomfort even
more.
‘and what makes
them think so?’- I asked,surprised.
‘it’s all word of
mouth. Don’t need any logic.’- umesh explained.
‘hey umesh, let’s
go to the library. I have to reissue a book’deb demanded and both of them left.
Noticing the
embarrassment on my face rahul said,’relax yaar, how does it matter as long as
both of you love each other’.
‘do they actually
like each other? I mean don’t you think there should be a solid commitment?’
lalu said thoughtfully.
‘and what do you
mean by solid commitment?’- I asked.
‘why don’t you
propose her and make things clear, for you and for every one’
‘make clear what?
That I’m running after her and trying to impress her?’
‘come on, girls
are too sigh to express their feelings ’- rahul philosophized.
‘don’t make it
too late’- lalu advised.
I was wondering
that how much late is too late. Wasn’t it a bit too early? Love is more enjoyable
the unsaid way. By expressing it things will become very predictable. I gave
myself a few logics for not proposing her. There was a time when I was keen to
propose her. I couldn’t really think what had change over a few months.
May be there was something(someone)
else at the back of my mind. May be I was afraid of commitment, may be I was
not sure how I felt about her at that time, or may be someone else’s thoughts
were invisibly stopping me from taking that step.
